


Hit Me Like A Man

by AshNicole_xx



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angry Reader, Choking, Closure, Drinking, F/M, Female Ejaculation, Hate Sex, Heart Break, Love, Oral Sex, Song fic, Steve is an Asshole, Vaginal Fingering, emotional reader, mentions of depression, mild violence, personal history
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-13 21:53:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14756979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshNicole_xx/pseuds/AshNicole_xx
Summary: Steve and the reader have a history. A shotty history, at that. To put it nicely, you hated each other.. and for good reason.This is another story that was inspired by a song. As the title suggests, it was inspired by The Pretty Reckless song, “Hit Me Like A Man” mainly the lyric, “Hit me like a man, love me like a woman"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is, by far, my longest work to date.  
> I had a bit* of trouble writing this one, there were parts that i had absolutely no idea where i wanted to go with it, so i hope it isn’t too bad. At times i wanted to just stop and not even do it, but at the same time, i REALLY wanted to do this one, so I didn’t want to just scrap it and move on to a different one.  
> * A lot
> 
> THIS STEVE/READER FIC TOOK ME FOR. EV. ER. TO FINISH. At one point there was an entire month between words being put down. I really hope it doesn't suck hardcore.
> 
> And i know its kind of out of character for Bucky and Steve to have done what they did, but thats why i made this an AU. PLease don't hate me.
> 
> A huge shout out to my irl bestie AlphaWolfofTexas (sub to her on here for good shit) for helping me with this. After having an incredibly difficult time writing this, i had absolutely no idea how i wanted to go about it, and she convinced me not to throw it away, and instead gave me a helpful idea that nudged me in the right direction. Love you, boo <3
> 
> Let me know what you think, and please be kind. Enjoy :)

  
  


Another punch in the gut.

Unfortunately, not metaphorically, but physically.

You didn’t mind fighting. Hell, sometimes you even enjoyed it, it was kind of therapeutic in a weird, violent kind of way. But sometimes, like now, you especially didn’t like it. Steve Rogers isn’t really the most gentle person when it comes to fighting.

 

You swung out, aiming for his perfect face, and landing a punch on his jaw.

Steve grunted, before hitting you again. A right hook to the face and, and his leg coming out to knock you off your feet. 

You brought your hand up to your mouth and wiped away the blood that was coming from your busted lip. Before you could bring yourself back to your feet, Steve came to where you sat on the ground, and knelt over you.

“Give up, Y/N. You and I both know you’re not gonna leave here the winner of this fight. Though, I am surprised you lasted this long this time.”

You spat at him. A mixture of blood and spit landing on his face. “Screw you, Steve.” You slowly got back to your feet. If you had to be honest, you were exhausted, and you were hurt, but you’ll be damned if you gave up. That’s not who you were.

You went to swing at Steve again, but his hand caught yours, and he hit you instead, and knocked you out cold.

 

**

 

You woke up in a room that wasn’t yours. In a house that wasn’t yours. Your head was pounding, and your body hurt like fuck.

You looked around the room you were in, to try to figure out where in the hell you were. The room was giving you nothing. You must be in some spare bedroom, where nobodies belongings were. Where the fuck were you?

 

You lifted your shirt up, and looked at your stomach. Covering a vast amount of your abdomen, was dark purple and red bruising. You sighed and tried getting out of bed, you had no idea how long you had been passed out, but one thing was for sure, and that’s that you really had to pee.

The movement made you hiss in pain. The bruising on your stomach was much more extensive than any other bruising you had ever had in your life.

You walked out of the bedroom door, and into the hallway, determined to find the bathroom, and subsequently find out where you were, and why exactly you were here.

 

The room you came from was at the end of the hall, so there was only one way for you to go. Slowly, you walked down the hall, and noticed the door at the other end of the hallway that was open. Realizing you could see a sink, you made your way down the hall.

Closing the door behind you, you took in your appearance in the mirror. You had more bruising on your jaw, a black eye, a split lip, and a swollen nose. You sighed before using the bathroom and left. Now, to find out where you were, and who brought you here.

 

You found a staircase, and made to go down the steps. Carefully, being sure not to bother the bruising on your stomach, you took each step until you reached the landing. You crept through the house, trying to make as little noise as possible, until you came across the person sitting on the couch on his phone. You stopped dead in your tracks.

 

“Are you  **FUCKING** kidding me?!” you spit out.

Steve looked up from where he was sitting. “Oh, good. You’re up.”

 

All you had wanted, was to go to the bar, and decompress after a long week at work. That wasn’t too much to ask, right? Just a simple thing to do. Everything was going just fine at first. You were holding steady conversation with your bartender most of the night when he wasn’t too busy making drinks.

Then, things just went to shit when Steve walked into the bar and made some snarky comment. Trying your best to ignore him, you downed the rest of your White Russian and ordered another along with a shot of whiskey. You were going to need all you could just to stand being in the same vicinity as that man, you didn’t even care that whiskey made you mean.

 

You and Steve hadn’t always hated each other. There was a time when you two had actually been civil towards one another. You wouldn’t go as far as to call yourselves “friends”. Acquaintances  _ maybe _ , for your ex boyfriend’s sake, but never friends. 

You and Steve knew each other through your ex. He was his best friend.

 

**

 

2 Years Ago

 

**

 

You had been dating Bucky Barnes. Your relationship was pretty serious. You lived together. You adopted a dog together. A Saint Bernard named Molly. You loved Bucky. You even thought that maybe you might get married some time in the future.

 

The only real problem in your relationship was Steve. He liked to monopolize Bucky’s time. You often had to compete with Steve for your boyfriends attention, and because he didn’t want to upset you in anyway, he often chose you over Steve when you both wanted to spend time with him. You always appreciated when he did that. Steve on the other hand, hated it.

 

*

 

You and Bucky were sitting at home on the couch. Molly was laying across you both, her head in Bucky’s lap. You were watching one of your favorite movies, when Bucky’s phone vibrated on the table next to him.

Picking it up, he looked at the text.

 

3:11 PM

From Steve

_ Hey, Buck. What are you up to? I’ve got something i need to tell you. _

 

He hit reply.

 

3:11 PM

To Steve

_ Watching a movie with Y/N. Whats up? _

Send

 

3:13 PM

From Steve

_ It's not really something to be told over text. Can you stop by later? It's really important. _

 

Bucky glanced over at you and smiled. He was sure you wouldn’t mind if he stepped out for a bit later. He told Steve he would see him later, and turned his attention back to you and the movie.

 

*

 

When the movie ended, You got up to take Molly outside, and Bucky followed suit. “Hey, Babe. I have to head out for a little bit. Steve told me he needed to tell me something, that he needed to tell me in person.” He came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, and resting his chin on your neck. You turned around in his hold, and leaned up to press a kiss on his lips. “Thats fine, baby. I’ll see you when you get back.” Bucky pressed another kiss to your lips before letting you go, and turning around. “I won’t be gone long. Love you.” “I love you, too.” He grabbed his keys, and walked out the door.

 

*

 

Bucky*

 

It was about a 5 minute drive from home to Steve’s apartment. Not too long of a drive, but it was long enough to wonder about what his best friend wanted to talk to him about.

 

Bucky walked up to Steve’s door, and knocked twice before walking in. The two of them had been friends for so long that they were practically family, so Bucky never felt the need to wait for the door to be answered when he came over.

The first thing Bucky seen upon entering Steve’s home, was Steve pacing across the living room.

 

“Steve?”

Steve looked up from his pacing to see Bucky standing by the door.

“Oh. Hey, Buck. Come in.”

Bucky cocked his head at his friend before shutting the door behind him and heading towards the armchair. “You okay, pal? You seem a little.. nervous?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Im.. uh. Im Fine… sit” Steve walked towards the couch and sat down himself.

“So..” Bucky started, “Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on? What is it that you needed to tell me?”

“Okay. You know you're my best friend, right? And i would never want to do anything to hurt you?” Bucky nodded “Just keep that in your head when i tell you this next bit of information.”

Bucky eyed Steve suspiciously. “Okay?”

Steve took a deep breath. “I seen Y/N with another man a couple of days ago.. they were.. uh. they seemed pretty intimate.”

Bucky was taken aback. Surely this couldn’t be true. “What? What.. What do you mean they ‘seemed pretty intimate’? What are you saying Steve?!”

“I'm saying that i seen your girlfriend cheating on you with another man. I was on my evening jog the other day, and i decided to run on the path down by the river, and i see her there with a man in his car. I wanted to tell you sooner, i just didn’t know how to do it.”

Bucky tried processing everything his friend had just told him. It made no sense. The two of you were happy together. Why would you cheat on him?

“Wait. I've been with her all week.. except for..” The wheels in Bucky’s head were turning.

“Except?” Steve asked.

“...Except for Thursday night. She said she was going out with Nat and Wanda for drinks.. She fucking lied to me?”

“Im sorry, Bucky.”

 

Bucky was livid. He didn’t want to hear any more of this. How could you do this to him? He jumped out of his seat, and walked out of the apartment and slammed the door behind him.

 

He stalked to his car, and started driving. Everything Steve just told him playing in his head on repeat. Bucky’s emotions were all over the placed. He didn’t know whether the tears that stung his eyes were from sadness, from anger, or from the feeling of betrayal. Maybe a mixture of all three. He wiped at his eyes, ridding them of tears.

Bucky decided to drive around before going home, to avoid doing something he would regret. 

After about 30 minutes of driving around, he decided he was calm enough to confront you. The person that broke his heart.

 

**

 

Reader*

 

Bucky was gone for almost an hour before he finally walked back through the front door. You were in the kitchen preparing dinner, with a glass of wine, and Molly sitting by your feet, hoping you would drop something for you.

“Hey babe.” You said, not looking up, but paying attention to the vegetables you were cutting.

Bucky didn’t say anything. Instead he walked passed the kitchen and down the hall into your shared bedroom, and returned moments later with some of your things.

“Get out.” There was no emotion in his voice.

This made you look up. “What?” you took in his appearance. His eyes were bloodshot, like he had been crying. “What? Bucky. I don't understand? What's going on? What's wrong?”

Bucky walked to the door, and threw the belongings he had in his arms out into the yard. “Get. Out.” he said again as he spun around and looked at you. “Just Leave, Y/N. Go.”

You started crying. You were so confused. You had no idea what was going on. Why was the love of your life throwing you out? Things were just fine and normal a few hours ago. Did you do something wrong?

 

You put the knife down that you were using to cut your vegetables with, before quietly saying “Fine.” and walked towards the door. Molly started following you as you went to leave.

“Molly. Stay.” Molly looked at Bucky and back at you, before stopping where she was and sitting down. You let out a small sob, but you couldn’t really blame her, Molly always listened to commands, but it didn’t make it any less heartbreaking. Bucky was throwing you out for an unknown reason, and he was keeping Molly from you.

 

Exiting the house, you picked up the stuff that Bucky had thrown on the lawn, and looked back at him. “I wish that you would tell me what's happened, and why youre doing this.. I love you Bucky.” He said nothing, instead he just shut the door, leaving you alone.

 

You slowly walked to your car, and threw your stuff in the back seat before sitting in the driver's seat. It took you all of 5 seconds before you broke down crying, letting out every tear you had held inside your body for the past 4 minutes. You sat in the driveway for 10 minutes, until you could get yourself calmed down enough to drive. You didn’t know where to go, or what to do. Your past 3 years have been in this house, with the man that just threw you out. Sighing, you threw your car into reverse and started backing out of the driveway. You would figure out what to do sooner or later.

 

You drove to the Hotel that was a few blocks away from home. You were going to need a place to stay until you could figure out what happened between you and Bucky and go back home.

 

You got your room and put what little stuff you checked in with in the dresser, and then sat on the bed.

Taking out your phone, you called your best friend Natasha.

 

The phone rang times before Nat answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Nat.”

“Hey, Y/N. What's going on? Are you okay, you sound funny.”

You started crying again. “No.. Nat, Bucky threw me out, and i have no idea why.” You wiped at your face.”

“Oh honey. Where are you now? I’ll come to you.”

“Im at the hotel on Maple. Room 430.”

“I'm on my way. I'll be there soon, okay? Just breathe Y/N. We’ll figure this out, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks. I'll see you in a few.”

“See you in a few. Bye, love”

 

You tossed your phone onto your bed. You were beyond thankful that you had friends that cared enough about you that they would drop what they were doing and come to your rescue.

 

It didn’t take long at all before there was a knock on your room door, getting up from your spot on the bed, you walked to the door and opened it, to see Natasha and Wanda standing there.

Natasha pulled you in for a hug as she walked inside.

“So, what exactly happened?” Wanda asked you as you walked back to your bed, the other two girls following behind.

“You’re guess is as good as mine. I honestly have no idea. Everything was fine one moment, and the next, he’s telling me to get out of the house? We were watching our favorite movie, and when it was over, he said he had to go to Steve's for a bit, and he wouldn’t be long. Then, an hour later, he comes walking in the house as im cooking dinner. He walked straight to the bedroom, didn’t even acknowledge me, then came back through and threw some of my stuff onto the lawn and told me to get out. And that was that. He wouldn’t tell me what the hell was going on.”

Natasha wiped the tears from your face. you had silently started crying as you recapped to your friends what had happened earlier.

 

“He didn’t explain a thing?” Natasha asked. “Nope. Just told me to leave. I don't understand. I don’t think i did anything.”

“Don't worry, babe. We’ll find out what happened, no matter what it takes, do you hear me?” Wanda said.

You managed a weak smile. “Thanks guys. I appreciate it. I don’t know what i would do without you.”

“And you don’t have to stay here, and waste your money. You can stay with me until you figure all this out” Natasha reassured you. “And me!” Wanda added.

“Thanks guys.”

 

**

 

Two days later, you were sitting in Natasha’s living room with a pint of your favorite ice cream in your lap, shoveling it in by the spoonful. You were an emotional eater, and you hadn’t gotten any better than you were the other day.

 

Natasha sat on the other end of the couch from you. She was on the phone with her boyfriend Clint. She and Wanda had been playing detective pretty well the past few days, and Clint was their next person to turn to, hoping that maybe he had some information that nobody else had given.

Natasha wasn’t saying much on her end. Just an “Mhmm”, “Uh huh” and “I see” thrown in every few minutes, letting Clint tell her everything he knew. 

“Okay, that's fucking bullshit.” she suddenly said, making you look up from your ice cream, curious.

“No. Absolutely not. We were with her.” 

Pause

“I’ll fucking kill him.”

_ ‘What the fuck is happening?’  _ You mouthed to her. She only held up a finger to wait a moment.

“Yeah, okay. Bye.”

Natasha hung up the phone, and took a deep breath.

 

“So?” you asked her, desperate to find out what she had learned.

“So. Turns out, that fucking Steve told Bucky that you were cheating on him with another man.”

“ **What?!** Why would i do that? I love Bucky! I would never! When would i have even done that! i spent all the time i could with him!”

“You don't have to convince me, love. I don’t believe theres a bone in your body that could have made you cheat on that man. Clint told me, that Bucky told him, that Steve said he was out for an evening jog along the river on Thursday, and he seen you with another man in his car and you were pretty intimate.”

“But… that doesn’t make any sense? I was with you and Wanda Thursday night at the bar. Theres no way that he could have seen me with another man at the river. I don't understand. Why would he do that? Why would he tell Bucky that i was cheating on him?”

“I don’t know, Y/N. But now that you know whats happened, maybe you can fix it.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Thanks Natasha. I really appreciate your help. I think i'm gonna go. see if i can’t fix my life.” You gave her a hug and grabbed your keys and left.

 

Sitting in your car, you took your phone from your purse and pulled up your messages.

 

1:13 PM

To Bucky

_ Hey.. I know you probably don't want to hear from me, but i think we need to talk. Can we meet Later?” _

Send

 

You waited, but there was no reply.

 

1:20 PM

To Bucky

_ Bucky please. We really need to talk. Please don't make me beg. _

Send

 

1:25 PM

To Bucky

_ Bucky. Please. _

Send

 

1:27 PM

From Bucky

_ Fine _

 

Your heart skipped a beat. Of the many texts you had sent him since he threw you out of the house, that was the first time he replied to you. Maybe there was hope after all, and you could fix this, but first, you were going to get down to the bottom of why Steve would do such an evil thing. You started your car and headed towards Steve’s apartment.

 

**

 

When you got to his apartment, you stalked up to his door. You were pissed and you were gonna make damn sure that he knew. You pounded your fist on the door and waited for him to open up.

 

Steve opened the door to see your livid face looking at his. “Uh. Y/N.. What are you doing here?”

“ **What the actual fuck, Rogers?!** You told Bucky i was cheating on him? What the fuck?”

Any and all blood in Steve’s face drained away.

You shoved your way into his apartment. “Care to explain yourself, or are you just going to stand there?”

Steve’s mouth opened and then shut again.

“Oh. Cat got your tongue, Steve? Why would you tell your best friend that I was cheating on him? Why did you put me through this heartbreak? Why would you hurt Bucky like that? Do you really have no heart? Help me understand why you did this.”

“Honestly?”

“Yes, Steve. Honestly. If you can manage that.”

“It was the only way i could think of to get him to leave you.”

Your heart dropped. “What?” It came out as a whisper.

 

“You know what? Fuck you both.” You heard a voice from behind you. You turned around to see Bucky turning around and leaving.

“Bucky! Wait!” You yelled at him.

“No. You know what. I don’t care anymore.” And just like that, your heart shattered into a million more pieces.

 

You turned to Steve who just looked confused.

“What did you do?” you cried. You hit his chest with your fist. “Steve! What the fuck did you do?! I was going to fix us! I was going to fix what we had, and you fucked it up worse! You fucked up my life, Steve! I lost my Boyfriend. I lost my dog. What the fuck am i supposed to do? Fuck you. I hate you!” You screamed at him, not caring if his neighbors could hear you. He fucked with your life, and you gave no shits if people judged you right now.

 

You hit him a few more times for good measure before running back to your car.

 

**

Bucky*

 

If he had to be honest, Bucky missed you like crazy. He regret throwing you out, without talking to you about what Steve had told him first. But he had made his decision and he was going to give it a few more days, and he would consider talking to you. After all, a lot of your belongings were still at home, and you would need more clothes sooner or later.

 

Bucky’s phone vibrated in his pocket, taking it out, he read the text.

 

1:13 PM

From Y/N

_ Hey.. I know you probably don't want to hear from me, but i think we need to talk. Can we meet Later?” _

 

He ignored it. Just as he did the other texts he had received since you left.

 

1:20 PM

From Y/N

_ Bucky please. We really need to talk. Please don't make me beg. _

 

1:25 PM

From Y/N

_ Bucky. Please. _

 

He hit reply. He really couldn't stand ignoring you much longer.

 

1:27 PM

To Y/N

_ Fine _

Send

 

Bucky couldn’t wait to see you. He missed the hell out of you.

Bucky left the house, planning on going to see Steve, hoping he could talk to him and help him get his nerves under control before talking to you later.

 

When Bucky got to Steves, his door was wide open, but he heard voices coming from inside. More specifically, your voice. He stopped in the doorway, and just listened.

 

“Oh. Cat got your tongue, Steve? Why would you tell your best friend that I was cheating on him? Why did you put me through this heartbreak? Why would you hurt Bucky like that? Do you really have no heart? Help me understand why you did this.”

 

‘ _ Damn. She sounds pissed. I haven’t seen her like this in forever _ ’ Bucky thought.

 

“Honestly?”

“Yes, Steve. Honestly. If you can manage that.”

 

‘ _ Seriously, what's going on here?? _ ’

 

“It was the only way i could think of to get him to leave you.”

 

‘ _ What? What the fuck? So i would break up with her? Does he love you? Do you love him? Was HE the other guy? She was cheating on me with Steve? Steve?! My Best friend hooked up with my girlfriend? the woman i love? No. Fuck this’ _

 

“You know what? Fuck you both.” he spit out, and turned to leave. He couldn’t deal with any more of this bullshit.

“Bucky! Wait!” You yelled at him.

“No. You know what. I don’t care anymore.” But he did. He did care. He care way more than he cared to admit, but he couldn't handle this kind of heartbreak. Not anymore.

He just walked to his car and drove away.

 

**

 

Reader*

 

You drove back to Natasha’s, crying the entire way there. You couldn’t believe you were so close to fixing everything, and Steve just had to go and ruin it even more.

You walked into Nat’s house, and she looked up from her phone, taking in your appearance, she immediately jumped from her chair and rushed over to you, and pulled you in close.

“What happened? Are you okay?” All you could do was sob into her shoulder. No words were coming from your mouth, no matter how hard you tried, they just weren’t coming.

 

“Sweetie, calm down. Talk to me.”

You breathed deeply, trying to calm yourself down enough to speak.

“Steve. Steve happened.” You sobbed. “I went over there to confront him on why.. on why he did what he did.”

“What did he say?”

“He said that he did, because it was the only way he could get Bucky to break up with me.”

“That prick.. I'm going to kill him… that does sound upsetting, but sweetie, surely that couldn’t have upset you this much, right?”

“Alone, i could have dealt with that. But.. But Bucky heard it all. I don’t know if he drew his own conclusions from that, but he told us both to fuck of, Nat, and then he left. I tried stopping him, but he said he doesn’t care anymore. I was so close to fixing everything, and now he's back to hating me. I don’t know what to do. Oh god.” You broke out into more sobs, as your life crumbled around you.

 

***

 

Present*

 

***

 

“Oh Good, you’re up” Steve said from his spot on the couch

“What the fuck? Steve, what the hell am i doing here? Did you bring me here?”

“I brought you here because you were knocked out cold, and i really couldn’t just leave you passed out in the back alley by the bar, now could I?” He managed to sound so nonchalant, as if knocking people out was a normal everyday occurance.

“Yeah? Well whose fault was that to begin with? I'm out of here.”

“You’re not going anywhere, Y/N. You’re too injured. I don’t care to be around you just as much as you do me, but here we are.”

“I think I’d rather had been left at the bar, than have to spend any amount of time with the person who ruined my life.. Please tell me you have liquor, that's the only way I'm going to be able to handle being here without losing my mind.”

 

*

 

You sat as far away from Steve as you could, a bottle of liquor sitting next to you, He was nice enough to grab a half full bottle of spiced rum for you out of his cabinet. You were texting with your friends the entire time to keep yourself occupied.

 

After an hour of sitting in silence, you finally spoke up.

“Why did you do it?”

Steve looked up at you. “I told you why. I couldn’t leave you laying in the Alley, Y/N”

“I'm not talking about that, Steve.”

Steve sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew he would probably have to have this conversation sooner or later, but he was hoping for later.

“Steve, please.”

“Bucky is my… Bucky  _ was _ my best friend. I didn’t think you were good enough for him. I did what i thought was right.”

“What gave you the right?” Tears pricked at your eyes. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“Looking back, i realize i didn’t have that right. I was wrong. I messed up your life, Bucky’s life, and my own. I didn’t realize everything would backfire the way it did.”

“Yeah, well, surprise. It did. Maybe you just shouldn’t meddle with other people's lives.”

“Yeah. Noted”

 

You finished the bottle that you had been drinking from, and got up to get something else to drink. Walking to the liquor cabinet, you opened it and looked inside to see what all he had to offer. Deciding on a bottle of Crown, you took it from its place and walked back to your seat.

“Do you think that's a good idea?” Steve nodded at the bottle in your hand.

“Yes. I do.” 

“Okay, whatever you say.”

“You know what, Steve. Fuck off. I didn’t ask for you to bring me to your house. So if i think drinking is a good idea, then its a fucking idea. Do you understand?”

 

Steve stood from his chair. “I said, ‘whatever’ Y/N. Do whatever you want. I don’t care.”

You got in his face. “It's the way you said it Steve. You sound so judgemental when you're talking to me. You always have. As if you think you're better than I am.” You gave him a shove, pushing him back a couple of feet.

“Oh, are we going to do this again? Really? When your entire body is bruised up? We’re going to do this now?”

Realizing he was right, you huffed out a “Fuck you, steve.”

Steve walked to you, and continued until he had you pressed against the wall.

“What are..” before you could finish your question, Steves lips landed on yours.

You pushed him away and just looked at him, confusion in your eyes, before you could think about what you were doing, you kissed him again.

 

Steve pressed you back up against the wall and kissed you hungrily. You gasped at how rough his kiss was, and he took advantage and his tongue entered your mouth.

 

God, you hadn’t drank enough for this.

 

Steve’s hands landed on your hips, and he moved them up your body, dragging your shirt up with his hands, uncovering the giant bruise you had on your stomach. His left hand drug across a more sensitive part of your bruise, around your ribs, and you hissed in pain. Breaking from the kiss, Steve looked down at your abdomen and seen all the injuries he had caused. “Oh. Fuck.”

“Yeah, thanks for that.” You said, pushing his hand away from where it was, and taking your shirt off yourself. “Take your shirt off”

Steve took his shirt off, and you moved your hands up his chest, running your hands over his muscle.

You thought of Bucky. You missed being able to appreciate his body. Steve was built nicely, but Bucky looked better. His muscles were more defined, he was thicker, more bulky. God, you fucking hated steve for ruining your life with him.

 

Steve moved his hands to the waistband of your shorts and popped open the button. He pulled the article of clothing down your legs, letting them pool around your ankles.

You stepped out of them, leaving you only in your bra and panties.

Steve stood there looking at your body, taking in your image. He may have disliked you as much as you disliked him, but he appreciated a nice body when he seen one.

 

“Are you just gonna stand there and look at me, or are you going to finish getting undressed?” You asked him with a hint of annoyance in your voice. You may have hated the man, but it's been a long time since Bucky, and now that you’ve started, its hard to stop.

 

Steve snapped out of it, nodding his head before moving his hands to his own pants. Grabbing the elastic of his sweatpants, he pushed them down his legs leaving him in only a pair of boxer briefs that left little to the imagination.

 

Steve advanced towards you once again. He grabbed your hips and pulled you closer to him, pulling you in for a kiss. Steve bit your lip, gaining access to your mouth and deepening the kiss. He lifted you up by your hips, and you wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck to keep yourself steady and not fall from his grip.

 

Steve turned. Careful of you and his surroundings, he made his way to the stairs, ascending them until he reached the landing and made it to his room, all the while ravishing your mouth as you ground your panty clad pussy against him.

Entering his room, Steve gently placed you on his bed. Having been deprived of another man’s touch for so long, you whined at the loss of contact. “Scoot back and lie down.” Steve ordered. Nodding, you scooted back to the head of the bed, and placed your head on his pillows.

The blonde took in the sight of you laying in his bed as he removed the last article of clothing he had left on his body. Your rubbed your thighs together when you seen the size of his cock. He had both length, and girth, and you just knew he knew exactly what to do with it.

 

Steve climbed onto the bed and slowly made his way towards you. Kneeling next to you, he hooked his fingers into the band of your panties and started to slowly take them off your body. You lifted your hips to help him get them off of you. 

Steve tossed your underwear somewhere over to the side, his attention never leaving you. He parted your legs and settled himself between them. “You can still stop this, if you want to, Y/N.” All you could do was shake your head.

Steve blew a breath of air on you cunt, making your breath hitch before his mouth got to work. His tongue entered your pussy and started eating you out like he hadn’t eaten a thing in years. You moaned at how skilled his tongue was, and the how amazing it felt against your walls.

Your hands went to his head. Threading your fingers through his hair, you pulled him closer to you in attempt to get his tongue deeper inside of you. Steve grabbed one of your legs and hoisted it over his shoulder and continued to ravish you.

  
You were feeling so good. You haven't been intimate with anyone since Bucky left you. You had no desire to. He had been the love of your life, and nobody you had met since then interested you enough to give yourself to them.  And to be quite honest, you kind of loathed yourself in this moment. You didn’t have feelings for Steve, you never did. In fact, you hated him so much. This exact thing is what made Bucky leave you. The assumption that you and Steve were sneaking around behind his back, even though you would had never dreamed of doing such a thing. But now, now you were weak. Being in his presence reminded you of the past. You may have had hard feelings towards him, but to be honest, he and you had more in common than you cared to admit. The both of you lost the same person. The one person both of you were closest to. The one person either of you never imagined losing. The both of you shared that same hurt. He just up and left the both of you without letting either of you explain exactly he walked into. The both of you spent months out of it. Depressed. Not talking to many of your friends. If anyone in the world knew what you had went through, it was him. Steve fucking Rogers. Which is probably what made you get in bed with him.

 

Steve removed his tongue from your pussy, and licked up your slit until his lips were wrapped around your clit and sucked it into his mouth eliciting a moan to make its way out of your throat.

Your hands moved up your own body, shivering at the light touch. You pulled the cups of your bra down, exposing your breasts and grabbing a handful. You felt one of Steve’s fingers circling your open, teasing penetration. Huffing out, you said, “Steve… Please.” Steve stopped his ministrations on you, to look at you. His mouth was covered in your arousal. He quirked an eyebrow at you, “You gotta use your words, Y/N. ‘Please’ what?” “God, Steve. You’re so annoying, you know that right?” He had the audacity to chuckle at your annoyance. “Steve,” you whined, “I need to feel you inside of me. Please.” As soon as the last word left your mouth, Steve’s finger found its way into your awaiting pussy, and his mouth went back to work on your clit.

“Mmph” The sound made its way from your mouth as soon as two more fingers accompanied the one Steve already had pumping inside of you. “Does that feel good? You like it when i finger fuck your pussy like this?” All you could do was let out a moan and a soft “Yes.”

“Come for me, Y/N”  Steve breathed out against your pussy, as his fingers were still working inside of you, curling them to rub at your g-spot.

It didn’t take much longer for you to feel the tell-tale signs of your orgasm wash over you.

“Steve.. im..” You didn’t get to finish your sentence before you were cumming all over Steve’s face and hand, soaking the sheets beneath you.

“God damn, Y/N. That was hot.” Your face was flushed. You had never squirt before, so the feeling was definitely new to you. Perhaps it was a combination of Steve, and the fact that nobody else had been down there in a while that did it. Who knew? You weren’t going to question it for too long, because apparently it was ‘hot’ according to Steve. Not that you particularly cared about what he thought. Right?

 

Steve sucked his fingers clean of your cum before he started slowly kissing up your body, being extra careful of your bruises, not wanting to hurt you even more than he already had. He stopped just below your bra, nipping at the skin just below the piece of clothing before he brought his hands up and ripped it in two at the middle to get it off of you.

“Excuse me. Those things are not cheap.” You berated him. A little annoyed that he just ruined one of your bras. It may not have been one of your favorites, but you now had one less bra.

“You’ll be fine… And if it's really that big of a deal i’ll replace it.” He tossed the bra off of the bed somewhere behind him before leaning down to take a nipple into his mouth, the new sensation he had to offer making your mind forget about your bra completely. His other hand palmed at your other breast, rolling the nipple in between his thumb and forefinger. Steve’s mouth left your breast to continue its path up the rest of your body, placing kisses on your skin until his mouth found your own.

 

Steve’s mouth dominated yours in the kiss. He was kissing you as if his life depended on it. As if, if he stopped his life would be in danger.

When the need for air was all too real, you pulled away, sucking in a lungful of breath as soon as you broke away. Steve dipped his head to the side and started sucking and biting at the skin on your neck, leaving marks in his path.

When you were able to speak again, you whispered a “Steve.” Causing his blue eyes to look into your [Y/E/C] ones. Looking back at him, you told him, “Fuck me.” He nodded his head and situated himself in between your legs, as you wrapped your thighs around his waist.

Grabbing his cock, he slowly slid into you, and paused as he bottomed out, letting you get used to him.

“ah, Fuck” The both of you said in unison.

“Shit, you’re tight, Y/N” Steve said as he slowly started to move.

“Yeah, well. You’re kinda my first since..” You paused. Now wasn’t really the time to bring up your ex. But judging by the knowing look on his face, he understood what you meant.

Steve decided to push that aside, as to not ruin the moment.

He slowly slid out of you until only the tip was left inside of you, then slid back in, creating a slow rhythm. His pelvic bone rubbing at your clit every time he slid into you.

Steve ducked his head down to kiss you again. This time it wasn’t hungry like the times before. This time the kiss was desperate, like he was starved for attention and he just needed you to give that to him now. he lips moving slowly against yours. He gently bit your lip, and you let him into your mouth again, his tongue sliding lazily against yours.

 

Steve’s slow pace was starting to drive you crazy. You knew that he was going slow so that he wouldn’t hurt you, and sure the slow slide of his dick against your walls felt heavenly, but god if you didn’t just want a good fucking right now. You loved slow sex, but you had to admit that you liked it hard and fast too, and you were already hurt, so what was the worst that could happen?

 

You broke away from Steve’s kiss to speak. “Steve. I appreciate the whole ‘not wanting to hurt me’ again thing, but I'm gonna need you to actually fuck me. Please. I’ll be fine”

Steve was in the middle of sliding back out as you finished your sentence. “Got it.” He said, snapping his hips forward harshly, making you gasp out. He grabbed you waist as he pulled completely out of you, and quickly flipped you over onto your hands and knees before entering you again, quickly bottoming out again. It all happened so fast, that you didn’t have time to process what was happening, until he was fully seated in you, and you were letting out a loud moan.

You arched your back and wiggled your ass, telling him to move.

Steve took the hint. Grabbing your hips, he set a new, fast, more harsh pace. Bottoming out each time he thrust in, he had you screaming out his name in between moans.

You dropped your head to the pillows beneath you, knowing that if he kept going like this, you weren’t going to last much longer. 

Trailing a hand between your thighs, your started rubbing at your clit, eager to get off. 

 

“Steve.. fuck. Im close.” you moaned out.

“I know. Me too”

 

Steve continued thrusting into you as you grabbed one of his hands and brought it up to your neck, gently applying pressure before letting go of his hand and and moved yours back to circle around your swollen clit.

 

The pleasure of you got from Steve’s strong hand around your throat mixed with with pleasure of Steve’s dick hitting you in all the right places had you coming undone and triggering your orgasm.

Your walls clenched around Steve as you came. You cried out in ecstasy as you hit your high and Steve continued his thrusts, chasing his own high.

He gave one more thrust before he pulled himself completely out of you to cum on your backside. Hot ropes of cum covered your back and leaked down your ass and thighs, as you collapsed face down on the bed, too exhausted to move.

 

Steve picked you up and carried you to the bathroom to clean you off. Gently placing your feet on the ground, he set you against the counter to help in keeping you up as he went to the closet to find a rag.

He came back over to you and wiped his cum off our back, and wiped your cum from your own inner thighs, before he moved to clean himself off.

“I uh. I have to change the sheets… After you know. You soaked them.” he managed to get out, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I can help you back to the other room if you want me to? If you want to sleep, that is?” You nodded your head. “Can you.. Will you come lay with me when you’re finished with the sheets?” You asked him, your eyes looking anywhere but at Steve. “Yeah. I can do that.” he said as he put an arm around you and helped you walk back to the room you had woken up in earlier in the day. Steve helped you into bed and left you to take care of his bed.

 

Steve walked into his bedroom and pulled on a pair of shorts from his dresser, before he yanked all the bedding off his bed,  gathering it all in his arms and making his way to the laundry room, picking up the discarded clothes on the floor on his way out. He stuffed everything into the washing machine and found a fresh set of sheets, and set back to make his bed before finding his way back to your room.

Upon entering, he found that you had already fallen fast asleep in the short time he was gone. Closing the door behind him, he made his way back over to the bed, and gently slid in, careful not to wake you in the process. It took all but 5 minutes for Steve to feel your naked body curl around him in your sleep.

 

**

You didn’t know how long you had been asleep, but it was a little after 6am when you woke up. Taking in your surroundings, you noticed that you were stark naked, and you were sharing a bed with Steve Rogers, who thank god, wasn’t still naked, but his big arm was slung across your body trapping you in the bed with him.

Very carefully, not wanting to wake him up, you slipped out from his arm and climbed out of the bed.

You snuck out of the room and made your way to the bathroom before finding his bedroom to put on the clothes you were in the day before, just wanting to get dressed and get out of there as soon as possible.

You looked around Steves room, searching everywhere for your clothes, not finding them anywhere. “Well, fuck!” you mumbled. Desperate for clothes, you made your way to Steve’s dresser and pulled out a tshirt and a pair of sweatpants, tying the strings as tight as you could so they wouldn’t fall down your legs.

You quietly made your way back to the other bedroom and left a note for Steve, before you left Steve’s house entirely.

 

**

Steve*

Steve woke up a little before 8 am. He stretched out his legs in the bed before opening his eyes and realizing he was alone in the bed. Turning over, he noticed the note on the bed side table.

 

_ Steve, _

_ I left early this morning. I didn’t want to wake you. _

_ Yesterday was.. unexpected. To say the least.  _

_ Though I do believe it brought me a little closure, _

_ i don’t think that it’s something we should do again. _

_ I couldn’t find my clothes, so i borrowed some of yours. _

_ Don’t worry though. You will get them back. _

_ -Y/N _

 

Steve just sighed and put the letter back down, before he crawled back into bed and closed his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Steve face each other for the first time since your night together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I wasn't planning on writing this. i was just gonna do the one and done, and then i realized that i COULD continue on with this. So a few hours after posting chapter one, i opened a new document and started writing.  
> To those of you who enjoyed the first chapter, i hope this is to your liking!
> 
> Let me know what you think, and as always, be kind. Enjoy! :

You held your breath as you knocked on the door. It had been a week since you last saw Steve, since _that_ night. It took you this long to work up the courage to face him again. You weren’t quite sure you were ready to see him yet, but you did promise him in your note you would bring his clothes back, and you were a woman of your word, if nothing else.

 

“Just a minute!” You heard from the other side of the door. You let out your breath, taking a deep breath as you heard heavy footsteps quickly making their way to the door. “Oh god” you said under your breath. Your heart started beating quickly, you were way too nervous right now, but why? It was just Steve… But.. what if he wanted to talk about what happened between the two of you? The thing that you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about for the past week.

 

The door in front of you opened. In front of you stood Steve, and by the look on his face, he was expecting someone that wasn’t you. “Oh. Hey, Y/N. What are you doing here?” You held out the small bag you held in your hands. “I brought your clothes back. Like i said i would” He thanked you and grabbed the bag from your hands. You turned to leave, not wanting to stay longer than was actually necessary. You really didn’t want to be in an awkward situation. “Y/N. Hold on.” you turned around to look at him. “Do you.. Do you want to come inside for a bit? I just ordered pizza. It should be here soon.. I uh… i actually thought you were the delivery guy.”

 

You hesitated for a moment, thinking it over, before you nodded your head and followed him inside. Steve set the bag containing his clothes on the counter and turned around to look at you. “You can sit. Make yourself comfortable. I actually have the clothes you left here. I threw them in the laundry with everything else, since you had been wearing them before i even brought you home from the night before. I thought maybe you would appreciate not putting on dirty clothes. I didn’t expect you to leave before i woke up. I’ll go get them for you.” You nodded and took a seat on his couch as he left to get your clothes.

 

The pizza arrived shortly after Steve got back with your clothes, and you both ate in silence, neither of you wanting to bring up the one thing you both wanted to talk about.

 

Steve stood from his place on the couch, and took your plates to the kitchen sticking them in the sink and returned back to his spot on the couch to look at you. “So. I think, maybe it's time for us to talk about the elephant in the room.” “Steve..” “Y/N. No, you know we have to. I know I'm not the only one that can feel the awkwardness in the room. We have to talk about what happened, or im probably going to go crazy.” You nodded your head. “Yeah. Okay.. Go ahead then.” You turned your body so that you were now sitting cross legged on the couch looking at him. Waiting for him to speak.

 

“So.” He started. “What happened between us, was the last thing i ever expected to happen. Ever. You know, with our.. history and everything.” You nodded at him and waited for him to continue. “I know that I'm one of your least favorite people in the world, and i understand that. Really, i do. I fucked up your life. Hell, i even fucked up my own. But, correct me if I'm wrong here, i feel like there was some sort of connection between the two of us the other night.”

“Steve.” You sighed. “I’ll never understand why you did what you did. I don’t understand how someone could be so cruel to someone else. Because why? Because you were jealous that you were no longer the only person in his life? Because you didn’t like me? I just don’t get it. And i don’t think i ever will. And although, you definitely aren’t one of my favorite people, or on my list of people that i fully trust for that matter, I also know that holding onto all the ill feelings and hatred i have, or had, for you isn’t healthy. If you’re wanting me to forgive you for what you did, i don’t think im one hundred percent there yet but if you give it time i can be.” You looked at him, gauging his face for a reaction.

When you seen he had no intent of interrupting you, you went on. “That being said, I do think we could maybe start over. You know, have a fresh start. I realized that You and I, we have more in common now more than we did before. Before, all we had that tied us together was Buck. But now, now we have more stuff that we can relate to. We’ve both lost someone. We both went through that. We’ve both lived a similar life, since then. We shared the same hurt. I empathize with you, Steve. I know how hard the past few years must have been for you, because they were hard for me, too.”

 

Steve realized you were finished with what you saying and finally spoke again. “I was stupid. I ruined lives. I didn’t mean for things to end up the way they did. I really didn't. I guess hindsight really is 20/20. But what can you do? The past is the past, and I would do anything in the world to be able to make things right again. I know that's not completely possible, considering Bucky has long since even thought about answering my calls. He’s completely ghosted me, and he has every right to do so. But you, i feel like i can at least try making things right with you. If you let me.” You gave him a slight nod. He continued. “But if I'm being completely honest, that.. _this_ , isn’t really all that i wanted to talk about.”

 

You looked at him, slightly confused. “Then?” “I wanted to actually talk about the other night. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. Maybe it meant something, maybe it didn’t. I don’t know. All i know is that I woke up to an empty bed, and i felt, disappointment? Lonely? I didn’t expect to feel that way, but i did. I don’t know what it is, but i feel something around you, and i can’t help but hope, that maybe, you feel the same thing. Now that i think about it, i think that maybe you were right. Maybe jealousy did play a part in my actions. But, i don’t think it was just in the one way.” You cocked your head at him, not really understanding what he meant.

 

“I was jealous. I was jealous of you. You meant everything to him. All of his free time was spent with you, and i feel like, like i was an afterthought to him. You were always his first priority to him, and i know he did make time for me, but, for so long, before you, i was that person and it was such a hard transition that i don’t think i ever got used to it. But that's not all though. I was jealous of him. I seen what he had. He was in love. I had never seen him that way before, and i hate myself everyday for taking that away from him. But i was jealous of that, that he had someone to spend his life with, and any of the times we were all together, i understood why and how he he felt the way he did. I understood why it was with you he finally found happiness. You were this beautiful, smart, funny person, and i think i was jealous that he found you before I did. I think, i think that maybe, over the course of yours and his relationship, i somehow managed to develop feelings for you. I didn’t want to. It wasn’t my intentions,  you were my best friend’s girl for crying out loud. But, i think that jealousy had something to do with what i did, and i can't even begin to excuse it. Its inexcusable, and im sorry. I let my heart act, instead of my brain.”

  


You stared at him with cold, emotionless eyes. “Please say something, Y/N”

“I can’t believe you, Steve.” your voice was tiny. Everything he just told you still processing in your head. “You fucked up three different peoples lives because you had a crush on me? Steve. I honestly don’t know what to say to that? What am i supposed to say to that? Huh? Tell me.”

 

“I…. I don’t know.” Steve got up from his spot on the couch and paced around the room. “I just don’t want you to hate me now. I was hoping before i just spilled my guts everywhere, that there was hope of us maybe being friends.” he looked over at you where you were sitting. “Was a wrong there?” You shook your head. “No, you weren’t wrong. But Steve, don’t you think that maybe the circumstances have changed now?”

“But do they have to?” He stopped his pacing and looked at you. “I mean, sure i just dumped all of this on you unexpectedly, and it's a lot to handle, i know that. But, now there's no secrets between us. At least not from me, and isn’t that important in a relationship, platonic or otherwise. I may have learned that a little too late, but i know that now.” You sighed. He did have a point.

 

“Fine, Steve. It's going to take me a while to process this. It's going to take even longer for me to completely forgive you, you know that right?” Steve nodded his head. “I’m willing to try to be your friend, Steve. I am.”

 

Steve’s eyes lit up, relief flooding through them. Hesitantly, he made his way over to the couch and pulled you into a hug. “Thank you, Y/N. Thank you. You won’t regret it, i promise.” He let go of you and smiled at you. “I sure hope not, Steve. I have to go now, but we’ll talk, okay?”  He nodded and you made your way out of his house once again.

 

**

 

It had been about 6 months since you and Steve had become friends. It took a while before you forgave him for what he had done. It was hard for you to do, but you knew it was even worse for you to harbor ill feelings for him.

 

The both of you had talked about the two years between the incident and the present. About what each of you had been through. It turns out that even though you both had friends you could talk to, all either of you wanted was someone you could talk to that had been through something similar. You loved your friends, but they had no idea what you were going through.

 

Steve told you that he spent the better part of a year desperately trying to reach out to Bucky and tell him everything was a misunderstanding, and to please talk to him but he was so stubborn and set in his ways, he wouldn’t believe a word he said. Apparently Bucky eventually got tired of Steve calling and texting, because one day when Steve called, instead of hearing Bucky’s voicemail message, he heard “I’m sorry, this number is no longer in service.” He had either blocked Steve’s number, or changed it all together. Your heart hurt for Steve after hearing that. Sure, he did it to himself, but it's never a good feeling being completely cut off.

You on the other hand told Steve, that after trying to reach out to Bucky for a couple months, with him completely ignoring you, he eventually flat out told you to stop texting him. It hurt you, it really did. But, as far as you knew, he never blocked your number.

  


You had told Natasha and Wanda that you and Steve were giving Steve a shot at friendship, while they didn’t think it was the best idea, they were supportive of your decision when you told them that he apologized, and the two of you share a similar life event, and you were ready to try to forgive him. What you didn’t tell them, was about the drunken hookup you guys shared that led to all of this, because then they wouldn’t have been supportive of your choice to do this.

 

*

You were sitting in an empty diner, sipping on a cup of coffee waiting for Steve to show up for breakfast before you had to run off to a family thing. When he walked into the diner you couldn't help but smile to yourself and think about how happy and content you finally were with life again. And it was because of Steve, of all people. Who could’ve known?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, Comments and Kudos are welcome!
> 
> Ch 3 will be started soon, and Bucky will be making his entrance again, so just hang tight!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've finally moved on, but what happens when your past turns back up unexpectedly?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place like 5 months after the ending of Chapter 2. Its been approximately 3 years since the break up with Bucky, and 1 year since the first hook up with Steve.
> 
> I think this is the last installment of this fic, so i hope I did it justice with this. I wrote this all in one day, so i hope it doesn't suck!
> 
> Let me know what you think, and as always, please be kind :)

You and Steve were walking hand in hand through the park. Three months ago, the two of you had decided to try giving a relationship a go, and so far, everything was going good. The two of you just click. You got a lecture from Nat when you told her about it, she still didn’t fully trust him, but ultimately, she let it go, telling you if you trusted him, that was enough for her.

 

It was slowly transitioning into Summer. The Spring breeze was still there, but the temperature was starting to rise. It was still nice enough outside to enjoy the weather without having to worry if you were going to melt in the heat or not. The park was filled with families with their kids, and their pets, having picnics and just enjoying eachothers company.

 

The two of you spotted a bench you headed towards it to sit down, but before you could reach it, a large, energetic dog comes barreling towards you, and jumps on you. You would have fell over if it weren’t for Steve’s quick reflexes, grabbing you and steading you, before pulling you away from the dog that had it’s paws on your chest.

The dog was very beautiful. You kneeled down to get level with it and pet her, wondering where in the world her owner was. Looking at the dog made you sad, remembering when you had your own. It reminded you of her. She even had similar markings.

 

You looked at her collar to see if she had a tag to contact her owner. When you seen it, your heart dropped. You looked at Steve, who had been entranced with watching you interact with the dog. “Steve.” He could see the slight worry in your eyes. He held his hand out to you, to help you stand up. “What is it, babe?” You looked at him, then back at the dog that was sitting at your feet, wagging its tail excitedly. “The dog. Its - Its Molly.” He looked at the dog. “No. No, it can’t be. Are you sure?” All you could do was nod your head. Steve kneeled down and turned the tag in his hand and read ‘ _ Molly. If I'm lost, call my dad. J. Barnes (xxx) xxx-xxxx’ _

 

“Shit.” he said, walking over to the bench and sitting down. He rested his elbows on his legs and held his head in his hands. “If shes here..” he started. “Then so is he.” you finished, sitting next to him, seeking comfort in him. You had both came to terms that neither of you would ever see him again, but here the two of you were faced with the possibility of facing him, and you were both close to a break down.

 

Molly came over to sit at your feet. You had to admit you missed the hell out of her. It had been 3 years since you seen her. When Bucky left you, he completely took her from you too. You sat there a moment petting her, and letting her up to sit on your lap like you used to do, for old times sake, before you turned to look at Steve. “Do you think we should contact the number on her collar. Let him know where she is?” Steve hesitantly nodded his head. He pulled his phone from his pocket, and punched the number into his phone, but before he could dial, you heard a familiar voice coming from your right, that sent chills up your spine and made you shiver.

 

“Molly! There you are! Come here!” he got to his knees, and motioned for her to come over to him. She looked at you and back at him, before she got up and made her way over to him.

You looked over at him through the corner of your eye, hoping he would just take her and leave, but you could only be so lucky. He attached Molly’s leash to her collar and walked over to the bench you and Steve were still sitting at.

 

“Hey, im sorry about Molly here, i hope she didn’t bother you. She doesn’t usually do that….” He stopped talking when he noticed who exactly he was talking to. “Oh. Great. Just my luck. The one day I come back into the city, i run into you two.” He huffed and ran his hand through his hair. “And you’re together. Imagine that.”

 

You looked up at him, there was so much anger and hurt in his eyes. Steve slid his hand to yours and laced his fingers with yours, and squeezed your hand in attempt to comfort you, but Bucky must have seen the movement, because all that came out of his mouth next was “Un-fucking-believable.” as he gestured to your hands. “Bucky. You, you don’t understand.” you said weakly. You couldn’t believe you were dealing with this right now.

 

“Yeah. I’ve heard that line before. What's next? You going to tell me it's all a misunderstanding, and i don’t know what im talking about? Because we’ve been there before.” His voice was getting louder, and he was close to making a scene in the middle of the park.

 

You squeezed Steve’s hand before letting it go and standing up. “Yeah, and you didn’t fucking listen to either of us last time did you, Bucky? No. You didn’t. You just assumed the worst and fucking left me, and dropped Steve. Who does that, Buck? Who does that to people?” There were tears in your eyes and your voice was starting to tremble.

 

“She’s right, you know.” Steve said, standing and pulling you into his chest, as your tears silently streamed down your face and soaked his shirt. “I know what I did was a shitty thing to do to you, saying that she cheated on you. She didn’t.. Cheat on you, i mean. She was never anything but faithful to you. I’ve explained to her where my head was when I did that. But do you know how wrecked she was that you up and left her without giving her a chance to explain things to you. To explain that what you heard in my apartment was her confronting me about lying to you.”

 

Bucky stood looking at the two of you, trying to process what his ex-best friend had just told him.

He let out a breath and rubbed his hand down his face, but there was still something nagging at him. “Okay, you say that, but what about this?” He said pointing at the two of you. You were still in Steve's arms. “How do you explain what I'm seeing in front of me right now? You can’t tell me there's nothing going on right now.” “That's a bit harder to explain.” Steve started.

 

You turned around in Steve's hold, and wiped at your tears with the back of your hand. “You happened, Bucky. A year ago, I ran into Steve at the bar. We got into a fight, which I'm not going to get into right now. I passed out, he took me back to his house and the next day, we started arguing again. Because of you. See, a year ago, we hated each other. He hated me because if it weren’t for me, he would have still had you in his life. I hated him because if it weren’t for his lies, I would have still had you. I would have still had Molly” you said glancing down at her. She was laying in the grass at Bucky’s feet. “We uhh.. Well.. that's not really important right now.. I went home, and then, well. A week later we actually sat down and talked without fighting. He explained himself to me. He told me why he did what he did. He apologized, and i forgave him. Not right away, but eventually. We found out that we went through a similar time after you left. We had more in common than we realized, and we decided. This,” you said, gesturing to you and Steve, “this is new. Like 3 months. So if you want to get upset at anyone about whats in front of you right now, you can just go look in the mirror. I'm not going to apologize for something that happened WAY after the fact.” You crossed your arms, and glared at him.

 

Bucky smiled sadly, “I gotta say, Y/N. I kinda missed your spunk.” He laughed softly, and you rolled your eyes, but deep down, you couldn’t feel annoyed. You felt slightly relieved that he was actually listening to what you were saying, and hoped that you weren’t going to have a repeat of 3 years ago. Noticing the look on your face, he spoke again. “Okay, okay. Look. I have to go, but uhh. If you want to explain everything to me, i guess i can hear you out. Better late than never, right?” You nodded. “Yeah, I guess.” Bucky gave you his new phone number and told you to get ahold of him later, before he and Molly walked off.

  
  


You turned around and looked at Steve and let out a puff of breath. “Well. That was a bit nerve-racking.” You said to him. He took your hand in his again, and kissed the top of your head. “Yeah, I’d say.” he said, as you started walking out of the park, and back to his house. “So much for a peaceful walk in the park.”

  
  


*

 

Bucky came over to Steve’s the next day. You had texted him telling him where he could meet the two of you to talk. You smiled when you seen that he brought Molly with him, calling her over to lay next to you on the couch.

 

Steve spent the next hour explaining to Bucky the same thing he had explained to you a year ago. Going into greater detail with him than with you, because Bucky kept asking questions.

When Steve finally finished, Bucky was silent, and his face showed no emotion. Knowing what he was thinking was anyone's guess.

 

You bit your nails, silently watching him, waiting for him to say something. Aside from Molly’s snoring on the couch, the room was silent for a solid 3 minutes.

 

“That's a lot to take in.” Bucky finally spoke, and you let out a breath. “I'm gonna say a few things. Can i say a few things?” you nodded, looking at him. “Okay, first off, Steve. You’re such a fucking asshole. You know that? You were supposed to be my best friend. Best friends don’t do that to each other. I was right to cut you out of my life.” You felt Steve’s breath hitch from where you were leaning against him. You turned and grabbed his hand, looking at his face in the process. His face was crestfallen, and your heart hurt for him. Steve had known that Bucky would be upset with the information he would be hearing, but he didn’t expect for him to say he didn’t regret cutting him out.

 

“Second,” Bucky said, “Y/N, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that i didn’t give you a chance to explain shit to me. I should have listened to you. I was a bad boyfriend. A jumped to conclusions, and i didn’t want to admit that i was the one in the wrong.. At one point, i did realize that i overreacted, and i felt bad. But at that point, I felt like too much time had passed to come out and admit i was wrong, and..”

 

You cut him off before he could finish what he was saying. “ _ Are you fucking kidding me, James?!”  _ You never used his real name. You always saved it for when you were really mad at him. He had heard it a grand total of 4 times when the two of you were dating, and this made 5. His eyes shot open, and he knew right then that he fucked up. “You’re sitting here telling me that you knew  _ WAY  _ before now that you should have came to me and apologized, yet you decided not to, because you thought it would have been too late? You’re kidding me right? Do you know  _ how fucking long  _ i hoped that you would call me. That you would reply to my texts? I texted you for  _ MONTHS,  _ James. Months! But you couldn’t bring yourself to admit that you were wrong? I can’t fucking believe you.” You were furious. “You didn’t think about how that may have made me feel? Person of the year award, here.” You wiped at your eyes, the angry tears had started to well up, but you refused to let them fall.

 

“Y/N. I didn’t mean to make you upset.” Bucky said. “Yeah, okay.” You rolled your eyes and got up to go to the kitchen. You found a glass and poured it halfway with whiskey before making your way back to the couch with both the glass, and the bottle in your hands. You couldn’t deal with this shit sober right now.

 

“Please. I'm sorry. I know what i did wasn’t the best. I know that I should have called or texted you. I should have given you a fighting chance, but i let my pride win. Will you forgive me, please? Im sorry.”

 

“You straight up fucked me up James.” You closed your eyes and rubbed at your temples. All of this was giving you a headache. “Can you just... leave?” You asked, opening your eyes to look at him. “I think it would be best if you just left.” Bucky slowly nodded his head, and stood from his chair, grabbing Molly’s leash from the table in front of him. You gave Molly a kiss on the top of her head, not wanting to have to leave her again.

 

Steve walked Bucky to the door, showing him out, and returned to you once he left.

 

He sat down on the couch, and you laid your head in his lap. “Thats.. Not how i expected that to happen, at all.” You all but whispered. Steve carded his fingers through your hair, massaging your scalp in the process. “I know, babe. Me neither. Are you okay?” You nodded your head and looked up at him. “Yeah. I think i’ll be fine. Not sure i ever want to see him again after that, but I’ll be fine. At least i have complete closure after that. I just can’t believe him, y’know.”

 

You laid your head back down on his lap, and wrapped your arms around his waist, seeking comfort from your boyfriend. He brushed the hair out or face, and just held you close until you completely relaxed in his hold, falling asleep. Today had just been too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, how the tables have turned, am i right? Bucky is the one begging this time around. ;)
> 
> As always, Comments and Kudos are welcome!

**Author's Note:**

> As always, Comments and Kudos are welcome!


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